Boat Safety begins not with oars, but with determination and courage. Each vessel, port and starboard, must be deemed seaworthy. Each sailor in aforementioned vessels employ must be judged by a court of the deep seas as being buoyant and intrepid. For every barnacle accounted, there must be a jib, pulley, and aft. When the nigh winds howl at ye wooden leg, a boat safety expert must welome them not with merely a grimace, but a defiant scowl, your good eye glistening with the grit of the anticipation of battle. To safely maneuver a boat from one channel to another strait, from these waters to those shores, from bay to bight to tomorrow’s evanescent anchorage, a true practitioner of boat safety must muster an unparalleled depth of knowledge of all things life preserver, choke, and mast. Unto each sail, may ye flap in safe waters, and unto each mooring may ye sway in safe harbor, for where the creed of boat safety travels, thereunto all men shall be safe boating.


In this freewheeling era where bangs meet ponytails meet sideburns, hairstyle definitions are flying fast and loose. These confusing and confounding systems of taxonomy often prevent the hoi polloi from understanding simple yet prevalent coiffure designations. Commence mullets: watch as a set of charmingly unaware parents learn the difference between a heraldic star sign and uncle Jackie.
Directed and animated by Giga Shane Music and sound design by Carl Sondrol Bass Clarinet: Eleanor Weigert Bassoon: Brittany Seits Cello: Heather McIntosh Vocals: Angeline Gragasin, Carl Sondrol Additional Post Sound: Richard Howarth

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