Boat Safety begins not with oars, but with determination and courage. Each vessel, port and starboard, must be deemed seaworthy. Each sailor in aforementioned vessels employ must be judged by a court of the deep seas as being buoyant and intrepid. For every barnacle accounted, there must be a jib, pulley, and aft. When the nigh winds howl at ye wooden leg, a boat safety expert must welome them not with merely a grimace, but a defiant scowl, your good eye glistening with the grit of the anticipation of battle. To safely maneuver a boat from one channel to another strait, from these waters to those shores, from bay to bight to tomorrow’s evanescent anchorage, a true practitioner of boat safety must muster an unparalleled depth of knowledge of all things life preserver, choke, and mast. Unto each sail, may ye flap in safe waters, and unto each mooring may ye sway in safe harbor, for where the creed of boat safety travels, thereunto all men shall be safe boating.
Although man has evolved over the millenia without any semblance of circular, rotating appendages, he seems doggedly determined to affix such appurtenances to his lower extremities whenever opportunity allows. Perhaps in some alternate universe, where all people roll freely thanks to the small, round, wheels that grow from their feet, some will choose to don restrictive, non-rolling shoes, and are applauded for the audacity of their sport.
In this universe, however, it is quite the other way around. This leftover footage from the Haley video is the pudding in the proof.